{"product_id":"funny-retirement-candles-the-pay-sucks-the-hours-are-good","title":"Funny Retirement Candles - The Pay Sucks, The Hours Are Good","description":"\u003cp\u003eNobody warns you that the best joke about retirement is also the most accurate one. \"Retirement: The Pay Sucks, But The Hours Are Really Good\" gets said at every send-off, and now it gets said on a shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Signature White version, poured with 60+ hours of Bamboo Forest. Office parties, a retirement card, a colleague finally taking the package: this is the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You'll Love It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Retirement: The Pay Sucks, But The Hours Are Really Good\" — quoted in full in white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSignature White label on clear glass, bright and simple on a kitchen shelf\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% soy wax with a cotton wick — an even burn and no petroleum wax\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-toxic and phthalate free — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBamboo Forest — green, dry and woody, a long way from a bakery scent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e60+ hours in a 13.5 oz jar, which covers the whole first season of freedom\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Gift For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOffice retirement parties, a voluntary package accepted at last, a leaving card, a group gift, a partner retiring first, a birthday in the same month, and the person who has counted the Fridays out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 13.5 oz Jar | 3.375\" x 4.25\" 60+ Hours\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAttributes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Trim the wick to 1\/4\" before each burn\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eItem:\u003c\/strong\u003e SW-2138-12\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e12. Bamboo Forest - Bamboo, Cypress \u0026amp; Cedar\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e What is a good retirement gift for under thirty dollars?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e A full-size scented jar with a saying on it looks considered without putting anyone in an awkward position. A group collection stretches further on one good thing than several small ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e Does a white label suit a house that is not modern?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e A plain white printed label reads as neutral rather than contemporary, so it sits as easily on an old dresser as a new shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e Is a woody scent right for a bathroom?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bamboo and cypress work well in a bathroom because they read as clean rather than perfumed, and the small space suits a lighter scent. Give it half an hour rather than a whole evening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e What actually makes soy wax better than paraffin here?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Soy is plant based, burns cooler and slower, and releases fragrance without the petroleum residue paraffin leaves on glass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e Can two candles be burned in the same room?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Two of the same scent is fine, and one green with one sweet also works if they are at opposite ends of the room. Two strong sweet scents together is the combination to avoid.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQ:\u003c\/strong\u003e Why does wax sometimes cling to the sides of the glass?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA:\u003c\/strong\u003e That is tunnelling, and it starts on the very first burn if the melt pool never reaches the edge. Give the first burn three hours and the problem never begins.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Cedar Crate Market","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45093674483805,"sku":"SW-2138-12","price":24.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0741\/8088\/6621\/files\/2024_White_Label_Signature_Retirement_the_pay_sucks_but_the_hours_are_really_good.jpg?v=1790258275","url":"https:\/\/mooreslivestockandmore.com\/products\/funny-retirement-candles-the-pay-sucks-the-hours-are-good","provider":"Moore’s Livestock \u0026 More LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}